


Solo

by TwoRefined



Series: Chan Drabbles [3]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Come Eating, F/F, Interracial Relationship, Masturbation, Misogyny, Other, Parody, Porn Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:00:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoRefined/pseuds/TwoRefined
Summary: Sniper enjoys a day off, by doing what he loves best.





	Solo

It wasn’t often that RED Sniper got many days to himself. So when he did, he generally spent it the same way every time. There was a sigh as he burst into his little van, haphazardly stripped off his shirt, and flopped on the tiny bed stashed in the corner. He didn’t even bother to kick off his shoes. After a few moments of staring up at the ceiling and relishing silence that wasn’t immediately followed by a bullet through his skull or a knife in his back, he reached under his bed and groped for the magazine he’d put a half-assed attempt into hiding down there.   
  
He had dozens of porno magazines, but this one, by far, was his favorite. The logo boldly read “WANKER” in a bright yellow font. On the cover, there were two women kissing – one white, and one of color, but both beautiful. The title of the issue read, “LESBIANS IN SPACE: Issue 37 – The Sheila from World 51!!!”   
  
Sniper didn’t just jack off to any dirty magazine – he liked pornos with PLOT. Because he was a CLASSY motherfucker. But this particular issue was the one he found himself coming back to the most. He’d read through it so many times that there was no reason to start at page one, so he skipped ahead to the alien’s “first contact” with the human race.   
  
The captain was a colored woman named Cleo Brown, and she was flying through the galaxy on a mission to free suppressed females of all sorts of alien races. This particular alien had been rescued from a ship wreck on a deserted planet Cleo had stopped at for a quick nude bathing scene. The alien looked suspiciously like a blonde, white human with pointy ears, but Sniper was okay with that.   
  
_“On my planet, Cleo, the males are the only ones who enjoy themselves during intercourse,” said the shy alien – A Princess named Nyd Eshye._  
“Honey, on my planet, that’s how things used to be seen, too,” Cleo replied with a smirk, her hands on her shapely hips. “But I promise ya – I can show ya thangs that’d make yo’ head spin.”   
The alien blushed as Cleo began pulling her near-transparent, flowing robe from around her shoulders, revealing a pair of small, perky breasts with nipples the color of pink lemonade. “C…Cleo, what are you doing—?”   
  
Sniper grunted as the two shared a steamy kiss, already hard from anticipation. Not wanting to waste any time, he undid his belt, then his zipper. He spat on his hand, and began applying slow, languid strokes as he continued.

 _“Oh, Cleo…” the cream-skinned alien sighed as the dark-skinned woman sucked on one of her breasts and tweaking one nipple with her hand while lowering the other into her alien-panties. “Oh, Cleo, this is…”_    
  
Sniper wet his lips silently, humming in approval as the magazine showed graphic depictions of Cleo’s dark, well-manicured fingers rubbing the inner lips of Nyd’s pussy. Once again, Nyd’s female anatomy looked suspiciously like any other human’s, and once again, Sniper was perfectly fine with that. He sucked in a breath with lustful delight as the ebony fingers massaged that alien pussy until it was soaking, and then went to tease that perfect, alien clit. Nyd’s breathless adoration was peppered throughout the panels. Oh yeah. She fucking loved it.   
  
Things started getting heated quickly as the alien’s lacy panties came off, and Cleo was stripped of her sexy, futuristic glowing tube-top. With her massive brown breast now bouncing free, the Earthling kissed Nyd with a newfound vigor, her skilled fingers going back to that sweet, alien pussy. The shy, inexperienced alien began feeling Cleo’s breasts, moaning at how soft and warm they were.   
  
“Yeah…” Sniper whispered to himself, licking his lips again. “Don’t be afraid to touch it, now…” A moan as he swirled his thumb around the head of his cock to imitate a tweaking motion the alien used on one of Cleo’s nipples.   
  
Eventually, Cleo lowered herself to the foot of the bed, spread the princess’s long, thin legs, and began eating her out. A shot panned over to Cleo’s large backside. It showed that she was so wet, it was showing through her tight, futuristic booty shorts. She began feeling herself through the fabric and even groping her breasts, as well, but most of her attention was on making sweet love to Nyd’s hungry pussy. And that hot alien slut loved every second of it, too.   
  
“Gragh… Bloody hell…” Sniper grunted, hips jerking at one particular close up of Cleo licking at Nyd’s clit while her long, thin fingers probed inside of her pussy.  _“More!”_  the innocent little princess cried, grasping her own breasts frantically. Sniper wiggled his dick slightly and imagined for a moment that he’d cock-slapped the little whore right in her cute mouth.   
  
Truth be told, Sniper wasn’t a very sociable person. What else would anyone expect from a bachelor, forty-something year old man that hurled piss at people and specialized in blowing the brains out of people over 20 meters away? He was egocentric – selfish, even – arrogant, impatient, and much lazier than he’d ever care to admit.   
  
He simply couldn’t bother to care about other people – he didn’t care about their emotions, their hobbies, their time, their family, their birthdays, anniversaries, or whatever. He didn’t care enough to try to make any relationship last longer than a one night stand. And, as time went on, he realized that even THAT was a hassle.   
  
He flipped the page with his right hand, left still firmly grasped around his dick, and continued jerking off as Cleo’s booty shorts were stripped off, and the two began 69ing.   
  
Yeah, porno was perfect for him. There was no emotional investment to make, no having to get dolled up, no real-world imperfections like someone pulling their back or an unfortunate anal incident he’d once shared with a bloke that he’d really care to forget… You just plopped down and started jerkin’ it.   
  
Sure, it meant that he was going to be alone, but… Truth be told, he was fine with that.

The Bushman bit his lower lip, lingering on a close up of Nyd’s inexperienced tongue shyly lapping at Cleo’s inner lips. Ragged, lusty panting. A few swift jerks, and Sniper found himself flipping through the comic rapidly, trying to find something that fit his specific needs at the moment.   
  
He rested on a panel that depicted Nyd breaking the fourth wall and staring directly at the reader as she licked one of Cleo’s pert nipples. A split second later, he was locked into his own fantasy land, with the two horny women. They were his pets – he had them by leashes and collars, and they were doing his bidding.   
  
Nyd was a sweet little thing – sucking him off and riding his dick without one complaint, but Cleo… Oh, she was a feisty little bitch. She didn’t do anything without lashing out at him first, and all of her kisses were painful and biting. Oh, but eventually he’d tame the beast within her. She’d learn to love him, she would. Every inch.   
  
Then another fantasy flitted through his mind – maybe his slaves from his last vision had turned on him, or maybe he’d been stranded in space and captured as an inferior male and “punished”. He didn’t know – he didn’t care about the details. All he knew was that he was chained up from head to toe, blindfolded maybe – yeah, he liked that idea – on his knees and forced to eat Cleo out without an ounce of satisfaction, himself. Meanwhile, Nyd, lovely Nyd, was behind him, whipping his ass raw.   
  
Yeah, it hurt. But it hurt in the best way possible. God, he wanted more—   
  
And, suddenly he was in the real world again, sitting up and cursing to himself, hand cupped forward. “Auuughhhhn… Oh… Oh, piss…” the Bushman groaned as his cum spurted forward, some of it collecting in his hand like it was supposed to, some of it shooting out like his balls had been soaked in BONK for the last few hours. All he could think was how grateful he was that he’d forgotten to take off his aviators.   
  
After a few languid stroked to make sure he was completely spent, Sniper brought his soiled hand to his mouth and licked it clean. It was a force of habit – when he was still playing bushman, it was pretty much common sense to not leave tracks and to not waste ANYTHING. Eating his own cum took care of both of those problems, though it was probably just an excuse to justify it.   
  
Women seemed to hate his cum. He personally LOVED the taste of it. He’d first tried it when he was Secondary school. The girl he was with wasn’t big on condoms, but she didn’t want his jizz on her dad’s couch. Sniper solved the problem by eating her out right after he’d came inside of her, and he LOVED it. In fact, he insisted on repeating the experience with every woman that would allow it.   
  
There was a sigh as Sniper thumped his head against the window of his van, his hand licked clean. _Well, that was fast…_  he thought bitterly to himself as he stared through the thin, yellow curtain he’d placed there for modesty. _Eh… No worries… Haven’t had a good wank in a long while._  
  
He flipped his magazine back open and continued reading, his cock splayed out lazily over his stomach. The issue ended with Nyd denouncing the evils of men, and agreeing to serve as Cleo’s first mate until they arrived at her home planet to redeem the women there as well. Cleo’s previous first-mate had died in the tentacles of the Dickmonster of Galaxy μ during the 34th issue. She’d sacrificed herself so that the rest of her ship could live. It was a very touching (and hot) moment.   
  
He reached under his bed and pulled out a few other porn comics he’d amassed during his long life on the road.   
  
_I’ll do better next time._ He thought to himself, checking the 34th issue for that tentacle-rape scene.   
  
After all, what the hell ELSE was he supposed to do with the rest of his afternoon?

**Author's Note:**

> Another short work I first uploaded on TF2-Chan. Big inspiration for this work came from a commissioned piece done by KGBigelow on DeviantArt. https://www.deviantart.com/kgbigelow


End file.
